We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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