he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
