a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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