why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i believe in u and ur pee
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
