I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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