I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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