Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
