It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How naked do you want me to be?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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