so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
