haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think people are normalizing furries
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
