I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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