I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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