Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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