I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
did i just pee glitter
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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