My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
