I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this boner is exhausting
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
