if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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