why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
