Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
