i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
