i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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