Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
