Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Jerry, you need to find god
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if only i could text you this smell
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
