he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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