sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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