i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
