Fuck appropriateness.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
