forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
