sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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