I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Couch. On fire.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
