the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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