Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm too high and old for this...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
