I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sober January is a disaster.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
