The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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