Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
