morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I look better un-naked...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
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My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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