There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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