Who wears a wallet chain?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
