Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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