I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
