Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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