God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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