Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
