a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
