I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
