I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize