Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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