roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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