dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
