he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
