i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize