I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do vagina's smell?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
