Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
