I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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