You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
