It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
