He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
