Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
