I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
