Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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